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The Cockney Translater!



Howdy hooray Henrys and Henriettas

Howz ya shares dealin? If ya got none, you don’t care, well done you.

None perpetuation for your own ends...


Talking of perpetuation for your own ends, have you seen Mr. Jones’ Mini-Me, owen, I now know his name having paid attention long enough to get a proper belly laugh from his recent stint in the chair. He was ranting about other people being total idiots compared to him on one of his own points. To illustrate his point and to seize the chance to advertise brainiacforce juice, he started to explain something and couldn’t think of the word dependent, or something, his chair friend had to help him, all after just saying the potion is soooo powerful he has to stop taking it in the morning, so now he does just before the show...

Well done owen... with a little o, now owen of course I’m gettin at you,

It’s expected.

The problem you have, is one of your own, you know it’s doomed, I can see it in your face. Hence little slips in advertising "the dear leader".


Still enough of plebeian product publicists, just doing my bit, lol.


And on to another section of what no other fucker talks about until they read here and go back to their site then set about in solitude reconstructing the angle to be plausible that they came up with it, then sell it to you as theirs .To self promote.

So if you have money you can distort the process!

Rinse repeat....

As for them all using the excuse the YouTube’s ads are conspiracy to get us, well, yeah if ya wanna look at it like that fine, what it actually is, is far more boring.

YouTube have been caught by the original companies’ bean counters...


By the original company, I mean the bod that makes the thing that will sell.

They go to an ad agency that has a contract with another ad agency that has a contract with YouTube.

For fortunes, they then down sell that ad hour to smaller and smaller agencies.

The original bod company depending on bang for buck status has none to little say in the matter.

It’s in the detail, the rating of the ad hit quality.

In simple terms, it’s if you skip,

YouTube haven't been honest about that, neither have gooooooogle.

So, the bean counters said, OI!

These ads ain't ads, they are five seconds long, say goodbye to the money. YouTube have spun it as the need to crack down on youtubers that make shit up. Their whole gambit is nutbags that make shit up, make mini TV programs, documentaries from other documentaries. For most it’s background, company for a lonely slightly listing mind, at best, it’s for childults to snarl n shine at each other, it’s their core business.

They have been getting it in the ear about the real bad freakazoids, so killed two real stories with one fake one.

THEMselves.

Plus, plus, plus, win, win, win (read the same books as your gurus) they get to comb some of the more frantic nits out of their hair, always good to up the talent margin when things get to accessible to the great unwashed, eh. Control.

Good, gettin it?

I’m not in it for the beans, cool or not, not counting anything that shouldn't have a number.


I Just know.



So what would you do, sit and say fuck all, I tried that, people track me down and keep askin.

I don’t like people too much, especially nosey ones get in shit with my reaction, but things being the way they are, an insight from any angle is worth a go for the everyday JoJosephine.

You can always fuck off, I did my bit. Easy Eh!


So mars is in the news, kinetic weapons are introduced.


Nuclear weapons are on the coffee table!


They have been used, no doubt, but as in Donny’s world size is everything...


Which is nice, cos I can then prattle on about the next thang.


Let’s go mars first.

Not Venus, no cloud labs there guys, you are just to practical, and it don’t suit the narrative,

Meanwhile everyone misses the Dutchwankerbanker's interview; think he's Dutch, mm. I will come back to that when you all know more of it,

from your trusted sources, that get it from the guys, that don't like the guys, that did it... as usual... totally without bias I'm sure... lol


Then the guys n girls that sell books and want clicks can regurgitate it sci-fi style for the exopuppeteers to sell etc tec etc.


Mars is on the agenda, as is the moon,

But people keep uncovering things about super spacemen and so on, then the Americans get ever so upset, they want to bang up my compadres in dysfunction for a hundred years, lol. Chin up old bean.


In the real world they would get two years while being helped into more constructive ways of pulsating.

The Americans went mental because there is a secret space program, and the air forces are testing conventional roger ramjet style escape capsules... but, what do you think the little people with the big brains are doing meanwhile, with their two thirds of the desert budget...



Wanna know, well of course you do, it’s only natural, after all look how well fireworks sell, shit they even fire big ones at each other as adults.

Which some of the dimmer of us love.

So you can be forgiven for wanting to know what the nutballs are doing with that tax money/energy, that ain’t so, nutty...

Well there fruit'n'nutty in one way defo, nanonutty.

Yes while you have all been looking at various birdies (hahahahahah blue in some cases literally) the bird stand the birdies on,

The colour of the curtain, or in any subject, wingspan, escape velocity, blah blah.

Or in the case of Dorothy (stage name Kerry Cassidy) you got Captain Black from the Mysterons (nonce murderer Mark Richards), appeasing her for some attention with his imaginative dreams of exploits into the dark unknown of his weird little mind.

Meanwhile he eats slop cos he is a murderer and isn’t a space captain, there’s a surprise. Let's see if you can work out why Dorothy kept that shit up, moneytise her youlookatmyboobs channel. Hence the more recent statement of I’m going to direct sci-fi blockbusters cos you guys is cheap.

All loony shit of course, the modern Modena of the new Orson’s, sci-fi for the slightly more immersive loving juvenile brained failure to mentally launch adult idiot.

I see no harm as long as you understand both sides of the coin; you dabble in fantasy, while much more fascinating things happen, for real.

Well all that claptrap aside.

Back to superspacecadet ranking, which is of course no such thing.


Oh, they have a ranking, a whole air force.

Yeah, and I ain’t nutz.


My brain flies.

Shall we say... For now.


They have been going all over the shop, testing all sorts of space craft.

Nano space craft.


Where I don’t know, everywhere they can I presume, or the tech allows, to the very edge, hang the consequences, probably.


Controlled from the ground.


By, yep you guessed it, Xbox controlled controllers, in camo and aircon.

Well, not Xbox exactly, but your with me now, the rest will follow, as it breaks out all over the floor.

When people get angry with each other, people that have been close in something, the mudslinging starts...

That’s normal, but when one crosses "that line" and goes for something even their relatives and allies don’t wanna hear, so replacing mud with shit, well that’s when it’s good to be standing there and not involved in any way, wiv ya best mate.


Well that is gonna happen on the world stage soon.

When, how, who the fuck knows, I don’t, what’s more I don’t care.

Just sayin'.


Also, on the nano front, and more terrestrial flying objects, how small do you think the secret boys drones are?

What about a virtual drone, oh yes, a drone algorithm set on hunt-and-kill, for derivatives etc... gotta do summink to make an extra buck on the software you developed, bit of cream for the square eyed carpal tunnel crew.


Nuclear weapons on an atomic scale, funny statement eh,

Really funny.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahaha.

We all laughing, hope so.

Yes uranium is depleted, named all sorts of things are smaller now they are small and can get in anywhere.

Up your nose and through your brain with nothing but the aim of killin yo brain, just borrowing that from the grandmaster (that’s grandmaster flash before you nut-turds have a sex wee in your trimonthly pants)

Great! Ain’t it!

Unless you’re a descendent from anywhere that dont want any.

Oh, and have the spondoolics...

Oh it’s a mess alright, oh shit is it, also a free for all, with all the clever people trying desperately to figure out where to run so they don't get beheaded, incarcerated with an orange suit, or heaven forbid have to stand their ground where they live.

While the amenities for gentle folk outside their watered lawn fall apart...

No, if you’re a scientist you ain’t stupid, you may not be worldly in my experience, but you sure do kick in with the grey matter when it gets this serious.

They are all out of paperclips and don’t wanna wait that long, problem is a lot are brown people, and that is a real fuckin dilemma for them, that I’m not even going into... poor souls.


But yeah, space is nano and has been for ages, no one’s leaving, they can’t your blood breaks down in deep space due to your bone marrow disappearing, it’s all just Hollywood keeping a dream alive..


No one’s going anywhere in any numbers... or effectiveness.

But you will eventually be able to walk around yourself autonomously via your very own drone. That’s is what I expect what I’ve uncovered is about, if it isn’t already, just depends, on a few matters, I dare say I will look again, with others help.

They do this with All your tax money.

So many secretly condone it, while praying to the money god they don’t go in the red, too far, considering they just think they own their house and of course don’t, they are just paying the interest, so lots of paying and preying going on in the middle class hedge, the human hedge that stops the top from feeling the brunt, ooooh don’t lose ya grip guys n girls or gargoyles you wouldn’t last long without the police and the civil servants, they are in it for the thousands, ask Donald, he knows it in billions, total money surfer, hanging nine, you can tell by the hair...


But back into nanospace,

of course it’s gonna be ludicrously expensive at first, like all television sets are, but then once the novelty wears off and the kudos is high street level like an old four wheel drive in Essex or Orange County, the marketeers can find only small booty, you will all get a go.

Maybe at school or uni, first, or some shit like that...


Meanwhile more crap is sold.

While the real problems are worked on.


Which is how central control is gonna keep people under, now the people are starting to see they are being framed by the very thing that’s supposed to serve.

I’m not in any way saying anyone will wake up on any mass scale, they already were.

They just accept it in different ways.

Indifference in its own way, natural.

Conforming is a way, for some getting a house and kids, being then aware of all that is, well, I don’t blame you at all for going to football and keeping ya head down.

Fuck me, what are you really gonna do.

Vote, hahahahahaha.

Well it isn’t funny, I'm sorry; it’s a hell of a dilemma for you.

I have been flippant about this and rude in the past, sorry.

In all seriousness most are along for the ride, some may wanna stand at the front on the roof of the train, scream shout, jump off into its path etc.

It’s on its own path now.

Only a complete power out for ten years maybe even longer would stop it now.

We are all slaves

Ironically so are the controllers.

There jumped up rhythm reading artificial killers, are there management mathematical decision masters.

As usual, what made it will not be able to stop it.

Like nano beads in nature, it’s the little things that count...

Ya never know, maybe some nano thingy out in space will bump into something that understands helping is a dangerous game, so will help as little as needed, I like that thought, its go to bed sleep well, nice, lol.

Space is big when your nano though I s'pose.

But I always bump into people in funny places, don’t you? So you never know eh...

But being a disingenuous guru about it to make a living, that grates.

Using mental people to ad embroidery, well you should be reprimanded by your own community; they are ultimately responsible for you, even if most view for the fun of laughing at you,

Oh didn’t I say, we conducted market research thru a company a few months ago on the guru list at exopolitics the fake academy like Donny’s, turns out 73% of people that expressed an interest, were asked.

About the content they knew of in the fields of the most prominent people they watched.

Do you watch for information or entertainment?

Number one answer, Entertainment.

They know, you know, I’m telling everyone else that’s a bit less able.

If you want our paperwork you must apply with proof of who you are and why you are involved.

Now I gave the gurus plenty of clues if they had seen anything from absolutely any source in direct connection, they would of had to say in there vlog blog public look at my spots the cameras so close youboobwatcher snog, they, erm, produce.

I’m of course being extremely generous to gurus by assuming they knew and were just unsure about some aspect, which is why they didn't publish before this date.


Yeah, lol.

But hey ya gotta give 'em a chance.


But no, we will be onto project long-shanks next.

Oh and if you’re wondering why so bold all of a sudden, it’s because I have many many people looking, that are on my side, know me, care what happens.

Some have known me forty years.

Some less but are no less important to me.

That’s who I was always worried about.

Now there are too many people talking to them too.

In fact everyone is all over the shop...


The meetings are great for me, cos you get to shake my hand and understand.

I love that.


Oh shit, I’m late.

I have a hunch I will catch ya later

You bunch of denying masterbaters.


Toilet seat Slam!



Oh shit, almost forgot, if you are an unsigned band (you play an instrument in some way ) and you can’t get anywhere but think you’re great, we have ten people who are trusted to know good, can’t play and bad.

If you get thru that round, I will push you forward.

And may use you here, with your permission, I only use friends and unsigned music here, which most know.

K, dunnit.

Slater.



OK, if you are said unsigned band and you want to take your chance, please send us some links to your music via the feedback e-mail as always, or use the contact form, subject line: "best band ever". ;)

Thank you and Good Luck!

- The Illumilazy x